Just give them the attention but not at the expense of the other kid. Kids exaggerate and they want a reaction. If a small punishment seems appropriate, Pearlman suggests punishing both kids if they complain, without taking sides. Punishing either child isn’t that effective, especially because the parent doesn’t know what happened or who started the fight.
Tell the tattling child something like, “Oh, that must be frustrating,” or, “Oh, that must have hurt your feelings,” or you can ask, “Do you need a hug?” The tattler needs attention, but she suggests the parent shouldn’t get involved in the squabble or get either child in trouble. When tattling gets out of control among siblings, Pearlman said, it’s best for the parent to give empathy to the child who is tattling and not take sides unless the parent actually saw what happened. A parent can’t often respond without exacerbating that rivalry.” “It really needs to be handled carefully because it’s often sibling rivalry. Tattling, however, can create unnecessary conflict, especially with siblings, she said. Young kids lack abstract reasoning skills and can be sticklers for rules in a literal sense. It’s not fair.” Secondly, the child tattles as some form of manipulation or power play: to get a sibling in trouble, to bring attention to something, to get control or to get a teacher or parent to favor that child for being so good and following the rules, Pearlman said. The first, she said, is, “There is an injustice and they can’t fix it. Pearlman practices throughout Orange County, coaching families on a variety of parenting issues. Why do kids tattle? There are two main reasons, according to Catherine Pearlman, a licensed clinical social worker in Orange County with a doctorate in social welfare. (Of course, it’s a good thing when your child rats on the dog for going potty on the rug.) Sometimes, they even tell on adults or the family pet. They tell on their brothers, sisters, schoolmates and friends. Nobody likes a tattletale, even though plenty of kids do it at home, at school and during play dates. Tattling is a common behavior for younger children. Julie’s not letting me play with the doll!”
0 kommentar(er)
